Lawn Bowls

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Lawn Bowls

Lawn Bowls

Outdoor and indoor game popular in Commonwealth countries. It has been played in Britain since the 13th century
and was popularized by Francis Drake, who is reputed to have played bowls at Plymouth Hoe as the Spanish Armada approached 1588.

About me and Bowls

Welcome to my Lawn Bowls pages. I am sure that you will enjoy the fun of Lawn Bowls. But, firstly a record of my time in this sport.

Mingara BC Presentation Night 1994

Clubs I have been associated with..

1990 - 1999 .....Mingara Mens Bowling Club.

1998................Wyong RSL Bowling Club.

1999 - .............Kahibah Bowling Club.

Positions held at MINGARA B.C.

  • Club Secretary
  • Asst. Club Secretary
  • Asst. Bowls Co-ordinator
  • Welfare Officer
  • Publicity Officer

Positions held at KAHIBAH B.C.
Kahibah Retired Bowlers Group
Senior Vice President

Y'Know, after a drop or two of the amber Nectar,
you Poms begin to look almost Human.


From the English Rule Book of All Sports. 1856

This is almost as simple as a game of football, requiring only a bowling green and an indefinite number of bowls, one for each player. Unlike football, however, it is a very quiet game, and calculated rather for the steady gentlemen,than for his rackety son.
The bowls are spheres of Lignum Vitae, or any other hard wood ; and they are generally made of one side of the tree. The heart being heavier than the outside, makes one side of the ball heavier than the other ; the consequence is that each ball has a bias of its own, and every player must learn its peculiarities before he can play it successfully.
The bowling green is, or should be, a perfectly level piece of turf, square in shape or nearly so, and 30, 40, or 50 yards wide, according to the capabilities of the ground. This should be kept smooth and closely shaven, by means of the scythe and roller; and from its possessing these qualities in perfection the expression has arisen, as smooth as a bowling green !
The game is very simple in theory, and consists only of each player endeavouring to bowl his own so as to remain as near as possible to a particular bowl.
The bias creates the difficulty, which is greater than might be imagined; and 30 or 40 elderly gentlemen will often amuse themselves every evening throughout the summer without arriving at anything like an absolute control of their eratic instruments!

I know you've got to get an early start, but this is ridiculous


Life, like the game of bowls, is but an end,
Which to play well, this moral verse attend.
Throw not your bowl too rashly from your hand,
First let its course by reasons eye be planned,
Lest it roll useless o'er the verdant plain.
Like needless life, that finishes in vain.
Know well your bias - here the moral school,
Scarce needs a comment on the golden rule.
Play not too wide, with caution eye your cast,
Use not extent of green, or life to waste.
Nor yet too straight, in life observe the same.
The narrowminded often miss their aim !
Bowling too short, you but obstruct the green,
Like him who loiters in lifes public scene
Who'er at bowls or business causes strife,
Will rubs on greens receive, and eke in life.
One bowling trick avoid in moral play,
Ah, never block your neighbours way.
These rules observed, a man may play his game
On bowling greens -- or thro' the world with fame.

Bowls Books

  • Toms selection of the top ten Bowls books.

    'THE TOUCHER' by Chalky White.

    'SHOT BOWL' by Jack S Close.

    'OUT OF BOUNDS' by Peg Sayso.

    'WRONG BIAS' by Little Ringo Cincide.

    ' GONE TOO FAR' by A Ditcher.

    'THE MARKER' by Ivor Penn.

    'THE PENNANT WINNERS' by Weava Flagg.

    'DRIVING' by Otto Barn.

    'STIFF LUCK' by Won Viagra

    'CLUB CHAMPION' by Ima Guddun.

    Don't allow your eyes to wander


    The Driving Lead

    I will have to settle down;
    Play the game my skippers way;
    Because we're playing championships;
    He won't let me drive today.
    He will stand at the other end;
    Smile at me for sure;
    And say I'm hoping mate;
    You won't drive any more.
    I am tempted by the bowl;
    That sits there on the jack;
    I know it needs a little knock;
    Or, perhaps a heavy wack.
    I wish I was allowed;
    To drive at it some way;
    Bash it off the bowling green;
    And win this game today.
    I stand there on the mat;
    With a look he really knows;
    Just waiting for the skip to say;
    "Brian. have a go"!

Tom about to draw a shot, eh, eh. 

Reflections of a new Bowler

When I contemplated playing bowls,I knew not what to do.
About how to enter a game, I didn't have a clue.
I arrived in time for my first game, I think they called it fours.
Took all the bowls out of my bag, I didn't know the laws,
The other guys explained to me, "You've made a silly blue."
I said, "what's the point of having four if you're only using two."

My opponent whispered in my ear, "In time you'll work it out,
But here's a thing you'll learn right now, it's up to you to shout."
I rushed into the bar and yelled, "Eight pots of beer, I think,
You'd better make it fourex, is it the stuff they drink?"
I brought the tray back to the green and handed drinks around,
The coin was tossed, the mat went down, my coin was never found.

You only had to buy two drinks you stupid bloody cluck."
"You should have told me sooner pal, I could've saved ten bucks."
We all shook hands, the day was fine, the green was running fast,
"I've never played this game before, do you mind if I go last?"
The skipper looked me up and down, he began to fear the worst,
"If your a novice bowler mate, it's best if you go first."

I took a run up to the mat as nervous as could be,
It hit his foot, ran up his leg, rebounding off his knee.
"You're just a little quick my son", i saw my skipper mime,
"You've got another bowl mate, try underarm this time."
My team mates tried to counsel me, "Calm down, you'll get the ticket."
I've just turned sixty two ," I said, "and just retired from cricket."

If I played a bowl that fell well short the skip went off his rocker.
But when he did a similar thing, he was trying to play a blocker.
If I played a bowl well passed the head, he said,"You'll get the knack."
If the skip did the same as me, "It's in case they trail the jack."
"Now listen old son", he said, his face was stern and gritty,
"Your job in this game of bowls is drawing to the kitty".

I apologised for my mistakes and took in what he said,
"I'm sorry Mr Skipper, sir, I must have lost my head."
My first attempt at playing bowls was really quits a farce,
The skipper kept on telling me, "You've got to take some grass".
I stood and watched the other bloke as he took his turn to bowl,
It was then I learnt that taking grass was not the sort you roll.

I took my stance upon the mat, "I've got good grass I think?".
But the bowl turned the other way and drew shot on next doors rink.
I remembered reading a book, how to sort my bias out,
The little ring to the inside, now I know what it's about!.
The game progressed, we had a ball, I didn't keep the score.
I guess you lose some interest when you continually drop a four.

But we made a mighty comeback, our team was on the mend,
The score was locked at 20 all as we began the last end.
The skipper pulled us all aside and with a cheeky grin,
Said, "Don't know how you blokes feel, but I'm out here to win".
He glared me sternly in the eye, his steely glare could cut yer,
My bowl went down, "You beauty mate, a resting bloody toucher".

I tried in vain to hide my glee, I think my bowls a winner,
and the skip was turning cartwheels screaming, "This guy is no beginner"
Although they tried to shift my bowl with shots of no real class,
Our skip was keeping well away by taking heaps of grass.
My bowl stayed there, we won the match and ambled off the green,
And i knew it was the greatest piece of ass this game as ever seen.

We talked about it afterwards, how we won by just one shot,
But the best time came when all those blokes shouted back that bloody pot.
I took time out to find a coach who taught me by the letter,
I'm pleased to say I've learned a lot and now I bowl much better.
The years have passed, I'm hooked on bowls, though not achieving fame,
I just tell all and sundry, how I won that bloody game....

Don't let your opponent rattle you.

Girls were made to love and kiss,
and some are mighty pretty,
But best of all, I'll tell you this,
Is kissing little Kitty.

Bowls Maxims

A good skip can control his ship.
A good lead is always a need.
A bowl on the pitch is worth two in the ditch.
a long length requires more strength.
A rink game is a think game.
A back bowl may become a jack bowl.
A bowl much short will count for nought.
A chalk on your wood proves your bowling is good.
A certain one to you is better than a risky two.
A toucher on the jack; a couple at the back.
A good draw shot will win a lot.
Getting the shot matters a lot.
It's a great pleasure to win a close measure.