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Salvation Army
Humour
Numbers 6:24

The Lord bless thee, and keep thee: the Lord make his face
to shine upon thee, and be
gracious unto thee:
TheLord lift up his
countenance upon thee,
and give thee peace.

About me and Religion.

I attended Sunday School a few times as a youngster. I didn't like it and was I'm sure, a source of annoyance to my young Sunday School Teachers, who must have been glad to see the back of me.

As I got older and infrequently attended the Church of England, I felt that the Service was cold, boring and lifeless. The music was anything but lively and here I was in the Swinging 50's. The Sermon, likewise was boring as were most of the congregation.

I asked myself; "Shouldn't a Church be a place of fun (without frivolity), happy and joyful?". The message it propagates should be vital and alive, yet the Church was a drag and unattractive to me.

Knowing this, I attended my first Salvation Army Service with some apprehension. Surprise, surprise, I enjoyed every minute. The friendliness of the people was a delight as was their testimonies of Jesus. The music was lively, the Sermon plain and simple, I enjoyed it so I joined and never regretted that decision.

The "New' School Prayer

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule.
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple or orange or green,
That's no offense, it's the freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise,
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the State.
We're allowed to cuss & dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues & cheeks.
They've outlawed guns; but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the unwed daddy, our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our condoms, & birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires & totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No Word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot,
My soul please take.

 

 

 

 

God Speaks - Church Posters

 

Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game.
-God

C'mon over and bring the kids.
-God


What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand?
-God

We need to talk.
-God

Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer.>
-God

Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage.>
-God

That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it.
-God

I love you and you and you and you and...
-God

Will the road you're on get you to my place?
-God

Follow me.
-God

Big bang theory, you've got to be kidding.
-God

My way is the highway.
-God

Need directions?
-God

You think it's hot here?
-God

Have you read my No.1 best seller? There will be a test.
-God

Do you have any idea where you're going?
-God

Don't make me come down there.
-God