Senior Citizens.

My Family
Home Town
Lawn Bowls
Welcome to my SENIOR CITIZENS pages. Older people can now attend various clubs catering for their age
group. Some of these clubs are called, THE GOLDEN OLDIES, THE
SILVER THREADS and PRIME TIMERS, collectively known as THE OVER 50 s. These clubs are usually organised by Church or Community minded organisations who are interested in the welfare of our Senior Citizens.
These clubs seek to entertain, help and inform seniors and to make them feel
that they are still part of this
modern society.

  About the Over 50's.

For a number of years my wife Audrey and I organised Over 50's clubs. Firstly at Toukley Salvation Army, then Bateau Bay Community Church and also Long Jetty Salvation Army, all being on the Central Coast of NSW. We now attend the "FRIENDSHIP CLUB" at Tingira Community Church, Newcastle.
Now, on these pages, I am pleased to share some of the humour that helped make our clubs so happy for all concerned.
I also show some of the Over 50's clearly enjoying the show.
Some of our artists were retired stage performers, who freely gave their services. We had Singers, Musicians, Comedians, Magicians and Poets. We also had people from public Life, such as Policemen, Pharmacists and Social Workers, giving an explanation of their duties and some worthwhile information.
  Lunch was always provided and is well received by everyone. Birthdays, Easter and Christmas are always occasions for much activity and enjoyment. So, if you feel capable, please go ahead and organise an Over 50's club, you won't regret it.

  Part of Long Jetty over 50's audience

Toukley Over 50's at a BBQ
I'm tired.
Yes I'm tired. For several years now I've been blaming it on middle age, droop, poor blood, lack of vitamins, air pollution, saccharin, obesity, dieting, under arm odour, yellow wax build up and other maladies that make you wonder if life really is worth living. But now I find out that I'm tired because I'm overworked. The population of this country is 17 million, but 6 million are retired. That leaves 11 million to do the work. Then there are 4 million at school. That leaves 7 million to do the work. Of this total 1 million are unemployed and 3 million are employed by the Government. That leaves 3 million to do the work. Take from that total 2 million employed by Local Authorities and Councils and that leaves 1 million to do the work.
ow there are 620000 in Hospitals and 379998 in prisons. That leaves just 2 people to do the work. You and me.
And you're sitting on your backside reading this. 
NO wonder I'm tired

The Flag.

Our flag bears the stars that blaze at night, In our southern sky of blue,And a little old flag in the corner
That's part of our heritage too.It's for the English, the Scots and the Irish Who were sent to the end of the earth.The rogues and the schemers, the doers, the dreamers. Who gave modern Australia birth,And you who are shouting to change it, Who don't seem to understand, It's the flag of our law and our language, Not the flag of a far away land. (Though there are plenty of people who'll tell you Now, when Europe was plunged into night, The little old flag in the corner Was there symbol of freedom and light). It doesn't mean we owe allegiance To a forgotten imperial dream, We've got the stars to show where we're going, And the old flag to show where we've been..

The letter

Just a line to say I'm living, That I'm not among the dead. Though I'm getting more forgetful, And mixed up in my head. I've got used to my arthritis, To my dentures I'm resigned, I can manage my bifocals, But oh God, I miss my mind. Sometimes I can't remember, When I'm standing on the stair, If I'm going up for something, Or have just come down from there. Standing before the 'Fridge door, I am so filled with doubt, Now did I put the food away, Or come to take it out. Sometimes when it's dark and I've, My night cap on my head, I don't know if I'm retiring, Or just getting out of bed.It's not my turn to write dear, I know you will forgive me.....for, I may have written and, Don't want to be a bore. But as I stand beside the mail box, My face is very red, I didn't mail this off to you, I opened it instead.


Long Jetty Over 50's
Easter Hat Competition

What are Seniors Worth

Dear Friend,

What are seniors worth ?.
Old folks are worth a fortune - with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet and gas in their stomach.
I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life.
Frankly, I have become a frivolous old girl. I'm seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up Will Power helps me out of bed, then I go to see John. Next it's time for Uncle Toby to come along, followed by Billie T. They leave and Arthur Ritis shows up and stays for the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in the one place for very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.
After such a busy day I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Johnny Walker. What a life!, Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zimer.
The Preacher came to call the other day. He said that at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him I do, all the time, no matter where I am, if it's in the parlour, up stairs, in the kitchen or down in the basement. I ask myself, now what am I here after ?

Your Growing Old When.................

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. The gleam in your eyes is the sun hitting your bifocals. You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book contains only names ending in MD. Your children begin to look middle aged.You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it's leaning against the wrong wall. You join a health club and don't go.You begin to outlive enthusiasm. You decide to procrastinate but never get around to it. Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
You're still chasing women but can't remember why. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions. The dripping tap causes an uncontrollable bladder urge. You look forward to a dull evening. You walk with head held high trying to get used to bifocals. Your favourite part of the newspaper is 25 years ago today. You turn out the light for economic rather than romantic reasons. You sit in a rocking chair but can't get it going. Your 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist and 96 round the golf course. After painting the town red you have to take a long rest before applying the next coat. Your knees buckle and your belt won't. and they stay there.your birthday cake collapses under the weight of
the candles.

The Clock of Life.

The clock of life is wound but once, And no man has the power, To tell just when the hands will stop, At late or early hour. Now is the only time you own, Live,love, toil, with a will, Place no faith in tomorrow, For the clock may then be still.